


you are the moon (that breaks the night for which I have to howl)

by benorganasolos, sapphiresunset



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, F/M, Future Wild Smut, Heavy Twilight Influence, Loss of Virginity, Mating Bond, Not Really Slow Burn But We'll See, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey, Pet Werewolf, Recreational Drug Use, Soulmates, We Have Reached the Wild Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-08-03 07:31:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16321859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benorganasolos/pseuds/benorganasolos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiresunset/pseuds/sapphiresunset
Summary: “Oh…” her voice trails off, she is standing about a yard away from him and he thinks about how he had encountered her in his wolf skin, she smells just as good — stirring something inside of him that he didn’t know existed. “Be careful out here, there are a lot of things you wouldn’t expect in the forest.” She pauses, her eyes growing wide with excitement. “I’ve been tracking prints, a wolf it looks like, but the paws — they are the size of abear. Maybe bigger.”His heart skips a beat, but he keeps his voice calm, even. “Maybe it’s a werewolf.”





	1. the warmth of your doorway

**Author's Note:**

> title is from howl by florence & the machine
> 
> thank you to [abby](https://twitter.com/binaryjedi_) for beta’ing ! ♥

**part i: the warmth of your doorway**

**track:** it will come back - hozier

 

**_Day 365 hour 0_ **

 

_One year._

 

It has been one year that Kylo has been living like this. Isolated, deep within the forested, foggy landscape of the Olympic Peninsula. Three hundred and sixty-five days that he has been _alone_.

 

Building his small but practical cabin had been a way to distract him from it — the ever-present loneliness, his only companion in the rain-soaked woods. He had finished building the tall, unassuming structure over six months ago now — his mother had helped him pick the location and haul the supplies he needed and left him to his own devices, but he calls her once a month to check in, when the time is right, and he is able to risk traveling to the small town close by for basic necessities.

 

His home is tucked within the mossy, evergreen forest — with no access from any road or trail, nestled just high enough within the Olympic Mountain Range to remain undiscovered by any wandering humans.

 

There have been moments of weakness, usually close to when the moon rises highest and brightest in the sky, that he has been tempted to wander too far, to the violet sea where the beaches are littered with black stone, where smells of flesh, of a past life that he has difficulty remembering haunt him like spirits in the sky.

 

But he will not take the chance, even when darkness takes him and he is no longer pale in the flesh, when he no longer stands on two legs, when his teeth are sharpened and canine, no matter how much he craves it — _humanity_.

 

**_Day 412 Hour 11_ **

 

Kylo smells her before he sees her — a young, _human_ girl hiking towards the flowing, muddy river where his clawed feet often lead him after hunting to clean his fur and satisfy his thirst.

 

He swings his enormous head in the direction of the _incredible_ scent, maw watering and mind swimming with its intensity. She is so fragrant, his sensitive nose picking up blood mandarin, frosted grapefruit, bitter almond, cinnamon bark, leather and underneath it all — that distinct, sweet musk that labels her as female.

 

And yet his paws stay planted, firmly on the jutted cliff upon which he stands, when his yellow, predatory gaze locates her. She is so small and carefree in his forest, unaware of the beast that has caught her scent less than fifty yards away.

 

This is not the first time he has come across a human in this form, but it is the first time that one has smelled so _good_ to him. His eyes track her movements as she dips a hand into the river, bringing it up to rinse the back of her neck.

 

He growls — deep in his chest and turns, feet pounding into the damp earth as he runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction of her scent.

 

But it lingers, like honey in his veins — even when his heart beats beneath the skin of a man again.

 

**_Day 430 Hour 15_ **

 

It has been a long time, 234 days to be exact, since he has shifted against his will. His control over it is growing with each passing day and he feels tentative pride well in his chest at the accomplishment as he ambles down the mountain, through the trees towards the nearest path to his old truck that he keeps parked in an abandoned pole barn.

 

The barn is falling apart, but it’s enough to shield the vehicle from view. His work boots are mud-caked but they suit him just fine. Being on two legs again always takes some getting used to, and wearing shoes after feeling the earth under his paws is an adjustment. The one thing that remained the same was scent. He could smell every layer of dirt beneath him, every small animal scurrying around in the brush, the ozone in the air and the storm on the horizon…all of it.

 

Today there was something else — her. Sunshine and toasted marshmallows, cozy sweaters and a fire in the hearth. Delicious. Scents that hit him in a wave of nostalgia from a past life — from _before the darkness_. And they’re growing closer.

 

“Are you lost, sir?”

 

Kylo jumps, letting out a surprised rumble as he turns towards her — he had been distracted by her scent, enough to not realize how close she had approached him. He must look odd to her; a man hiking in nothing but jeans, a flannel with the sleeves rolled up, and work boots. Especially when there is snow half a mile up the mountain.

 

He decides to be honest, for whatever reason, he doesn’t know. “No, I live close by.” Words feel foreign on his tongue, he hasn’t spoken aloud in what feels like forever.

 

“You do?” Her brow furrows in confusion and she takes a step closer to him, hazel eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes guarded yet somehow open at the same time.

 

 _She’s curious_.

 

Kylo can’t help but breathe in her scent even more, greedily picking up on the distinctly sweet feminine musk. His mouth waters.

 

“Yes,” he answers matter of factly, letting his human eyes shift over her form. She is wearing a uniform of sorts and after reading her badge, he realizes that she must work for the National Park. Her hair is tied up in three buns. She’s...short. Compared to him. Small.  “Don’t worry, I’m not lost.” He’s careful to keep his voice soft and steady, as he does not wish to startle her. He hasn’t worked out why just yet.

 

“Oh…” her voice trails off, she is standing about a yard away from him and he thinks about how he had encountered her in his wolf skin, she smells just as good — stirring something inside of him that he didn’t know existed. “Be careful out here, there are a lot of things you wouldn’t expect in the forest.” She pauses, her eyes growing wide with excitement. “I’ve been tracking prints, a wolf it looks like, but the paws — they are the size of a _bear._ Maybe bigger.”

 

His heart skips a beat, but he keeps his voice calm, even. “Maybe it’s a werewolf.”

 

Her eyes snap to meet his, and they stare at each other for a moment, her face flushing prettily as he holds her gaze. Her features are delicate, and her skin is sunkissed and freckled, rare to see when there is so little sunlight that reaches the peninsula. He laughs then, somewhat stiltedly, and she laughs with him. Her wide smile nearly takes his breath away.

 

“What’s your name?” She asks, a smirk playing at the edges of her pink lips.

 

 _Kylo_. “Ben.”

 

**_Day 430 Hour 23_ **

 

Kylo adds several logs to the wood burning stove that is nestled in the corner of his living space, thinking back to his encounter with the girl. He doesn’t get cold easily, even in human form, but he takes comfort in the warmth that the stove fills his space with. In having a home that feels normal.

 

She had told him her name. _Rey._

 

It’s nice to know her name, and he’s glad that someone out there knows his.

 

**_Day 432 Hour 9_ **

 

His dreams of a red room and a withered, old man, are interrupted — unnaturally — by the sound of a knock at his door. It’s a sound he has never heard before, and his sleep-fogged brain takes several seconds to process it before he smells _her_.

 

He sits up abruptly, climbing down the small staircase and moving towards his closet to pull on clothes. Eagerly, he approaches his door, hesitating only for a moment to let out a deep breath before turning the knob.

 

“Rey.” His voice comes out gruff, deep — and her hazel eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles up at him from the first step of his small porch.

 

“This place — _Ben_ — it’s amazing, you’re just off the edge of the park.”

 

He hums, eyes lingering on her, a bit taken aback at the sight of her here — where he has been alone for so long. No one has ever even come close to finding his home. It’s surreal to see her standing on his porch.

 

She clears her throat, and he sees the cold air form a cloud of vapor as she exhales. Right, it’s cold outside.

 

“Would you like to come in?”

 

Rey turns then, looking behind her, at what he doesn’t know — and then meets his eyes again.

 

“I have coffee.”

 

Her smile returns, and he steps aside to allow her to enter, catching notes of cinnamon. Temptation.

 

Kylo moves to start the kettle, only having a french press to make coffee. A machine would have been a waste of space, and something easily broken in the increasingly rare case that he shifts out of anger. He lets himself glance at her from the corner of his eye — she is turning, taking in his home. He should maybe tell her to leave, for her own safety, but he is a selfish creature. So he won’t.

 

“You have a lot of books,” she notes, casually, her voice ringing in the normally silent, open space of his home.

 

He nods in response. “I like to read.”

 

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

 

“I am curious,” he says, turning towards her and leaning back against his countertop.

 

“Well... after you said you lived close by, my park ranger senses started tingling, and I kind of made it my mission to find you.”

 

He laughs, lowly, at the look on her face, knowing that there is some hidden joke in her words that he missed, but not caring. He is just glad that someone is here. That _she_ is here. “You found me.”

 

She hums, moving about his home and looking around. His breath catches a little when she pauses in front of his calendar. “What do the numbers mean?”

 

Before he can answer, the kettle whistles and he turns to put out the flame on his stove — pouring the steaming water into the french press. When he looks at her again she is looking at him, expectantly. “It’s how long I’ve lived here. I’m counting the days.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“How do you take your coffee? I just went to the store so I have cream.” His hand comes up to the back of his neck as he speaks, cursing himself inwardly at his awkwardness.

 

“Cream and sugar, please!” Rey smiles again, swinging her arms cutely as she walks closer to where he stands. He prepares the coffee as she watches, and when he holds it out to her, she takes the mug from him, and when their fingers brush it’s... the only word Kylo can think to describe it is _electric_. Something living. An energy thrumming between them. He inhales deeply as she takes the mug, standing as close to him as she ever has. Her eyes look glazed over as she stares up at him, and he feels like he might...cry. _Do you feel it too?_

 

Turning away before he looks foolish in front of her, he pours himself his own coffee, making it the exact same way he did hers — he likes sweet things every once in a while. There is a small table in his kitchen, the second chair something Leia had insisted on despite his questions of _why would I need that?_

 

Rey sits down at his table. He will have to send his mother a thank you note.

 

“There is another reason I wanted to speak with you again,” she says, voice a little more grave than it had been since she knocked on his door. “Have you noticed any animals — large ones, around your home?”

 

He takes a sip of the hot coffee, and looks out the window above his sink, and gives her a half-truth. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

 

“Those tracks I mentioned before, they come up close to your property. I just wanted to warn you,” her words are sincere and he turns towards her, sipping his coffee and trying not to smirk.

 

“Thank you for letting me know,” he clears his throat. “I’ll be sure to keep my eye out.”

 

“It’s so strange to be honest, I’ve never seen tracks like these,” she continues to talk about his track pattern, the snagged clump of black fur he must have lost on a tree branch that she found, and how she is an archeologist for the National Park Service. She has been monitoring the flow of the river, which must have been why he had scented her there.

 

“What do you do?” she asks him. He is unsure how to respond, because he doesn’t do much.

 

“I’m a writer,” he answers, telling her the only truth he can think of. Before the darkness, he had published several books, under the guidance of his Uncle Luke, a prolific author and like himself, someone who is not just a man.

 

She beams at him, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with that, so he shifts his eyes away, focusing his attention on his sock-covered feet.

 

“Would I have read any of your work?”

 

“Maybe — although it has nothing to do with archaeology.” It’s weird, he had expected interacting with a human to be...difficult after how much time he had spent by himself. But it’s surprisingly easy with Rey — almost like her presence puts him at ease. He looks back up at her, she’s shed her thick jacket, and her scent hits him even more potently. She’s wearing a simple button-down denim top, and her hair is pulled away from her freckled face, this time half of it draping around her shoulders in waves of chestnut. _She’s beautiful._

 

He had been writing more since he had scented her on the river. Something about her had struck inspiration within him, and he had been tentatively putting words on paper every chance he got since that day.

 

“You don’t have to tell me,” she says, blushing ever so slightly and staring down into her coffee cup. He can smell it, the pink in her cheeks. The shift in her hormones. She must have mistaken his silence for hesitation.

 

“I publish under a pseudonym, Kylo Ren,” he starts, but pauses when she seemingly chokes on her coffee.

 

“ _You’re_ Kylo Ren!?” she asks disbelievingly. “You wrote _The Force_ _of the Moon_ series?”

 

“Yes,” he answers resolutely. He doesn’t think that he’ll be able to get her scent out of his home. He doesn't think he wants to.

 

“Fuck — oh sorry — I mean — _shit_ ,” his eyes track her movement as she tugs on the sleeve of her shirt. “That was my favorite — you have no idea — I _loved_ those books growing up. Primary school was…” her voice trails off, and he wants her to finish her sentence, badly, and she does. “Thank you. Those books meant a lot to me as a lonely preteen.”

 

Warmth floods him at her praise, at this connection, foreign but _good_ , that he feels between them. “I’m glad.” Kylo smiles at her then and her flush grows exquisitely darker. He wets his lips.

 

She looks up at him, shyly then. “I should go, it’s a long hike down to the station.”

 

“You don’t have to,” he says seriously, longing for this bizarre encounter to go on. She holds his stare, something passing between them before she puts her jacket back on.

 

“I’ll see you around then?”

 

He nods and watches her leave, heart beating faster still.

 

**_Day 438 Hour 11_ **

 

He follows her. Quietly, carefully, and at a safe distance as she hikes toward the flowing river.

 

There’s something about her… he senses she can protect herself, and probably has on more than one occasion, but he still can’t help this sudden instinct that has developed inside of him. Watch her. Keep her safe. After all, he’s not the only monster in this forest.

 

She’s small but strong, forging a path towards the river with ease. He inhales once, then twice. She brought bear spray with her. Smart girl. He follows her deeper and deeper into the woods, so deep he worries she’ll find herself lost if she’s not careful; deep enough that the sunlight filtering through the trees turns a burnt orange that fades into a brilliant sunset, casting everything in a soft glow that he knows, more than anyone, can’t and won’t last.

 

Before long darkness is swallowing everything light and Rey stops, seemingly shocked that the daylight is gone. He thinks she didn’t mean to spend the night in the forest, didn’t bring a tent with her. As he looks at her from this distance — his heart becomes so _full_ of her and the warmth that she radiates, that he barely notices the familiar, dreaded ripping beginning in the middle of his chest.

 

It happens in stages. Blunt nails become claws. Hair becomes fur, covering every inch of skin he has. His bones break with the force of it, rapidly changing and transforming themselves into something new. His spine breaks free, twisting itself, bowing down to his size. He shouldn’t be this big. No Solo or Skywalker wolf was _ever_ this big — monstrous — evil. He shakes his fur out and preens, towering over everything, ground shaking when he walks. He’s far enough away from her that she didn’t see anything, but she had to have heard it happen. That’s when he realizes: he has his thoughts. He can think as himself, not just as the monster craving blood on his fangs and carnage under his paws.

 

So he pads closer, and then closer still. It’s a cold night, nothing to him and his layers of thick, shaggy fur. But his Rey is shivering, little puffs of breath dyeing the night air white with their warmth. The only warmth she has. She’s asleep, and the October night will only get colder. He carefully, so carefully, grabs her jacket with his teeth and tugs her to a comfortable enough looking spot on the ground atop a pile of dead leaves. He wraps himself around her, his massive head resting by her feet. She nuzzles into his warmth before waking up with a jolt and letting out an unholy shriek.

 

He knows what he must look like. Bigger than any wolf or any animal she’s ever seen, fur black as night, teeth the size of her hands, paws as big as her head. She screams some more, making like she’s going to run, and he does the only thing he can think of. Dropping to the ground, rolling over, showing her his belly, tongue lolling out of his mouth. He tries to smile before realizing that would be even more of a gruesome sight. Her face goes from horror to shock to disbelief to incredulity in a matter of seconds.

 

“I’ve lost it. That’s it, I’ve gone mad.” She’s rambling under her breath at the absurdity of it all. “Finn was right. I never should’ve gone hiking this far into the forest alone, especially not in the afternoon. I lost track of time, I fell asleep, and this is just a nightmare.”

 

He huffs out the wolfy approximation of a laugh. Who’s Finn? Her boyfriend? He didn’t like the sound of that much. He pads over to her and sits at her feet, resting with his head on his front paws, swinging his massive tail back and forth at the sight of her. If he has to play dog to relax her, he’d do it all night.

 

Something changes in her expression, shock turning to wonder, and she reaches a shaking hand out to him.

 

_Don’t be afraid. I feel it too._

 

Her tiny hand caresses his face, starting at the top of his head and moving to his whiskers. He sinks his massive head down so she can better reach him. His eyes close at her touch, the first he’d gotten — not counting the accidental brush of their hands several days earlier — in human or wolf form in years.

 

“You won’t hurt me?”

 

He shakes his head vigorously. _Of course, he won’t hurt her._

 

“I really am dreaming.”

 

It feels like a dream to him too, something so precious he never thought he’d be allowed to have, not in a million years.

 

So he lays down at her feet, slowing the wagging of his tail and letting out a soft whine. She sighs and seems to resign herself to the ridiculous dream she thinks she is having before dropping to the ground and curling up with him, her face under his chin and her hands clutching his fur. He moves around her as much as he can, wanting her to feel every ounce of warmth he can muster. He listens to her breathing even out and slow, but her grip on his fur never once loosens.

 

**Day 439 Hour 5**

 

Kylo blinks his yellow eyes open to darkness that is quickly fading into the muted grey tones signaling the approaching morning. His Rey is still curled up against his form, and when he touches his wet, cold nose to her face she just hums and snuggles closer.

 

His mouth waters — he needs to hunt.

 

Reluctantly, he disentangles himself from her and slinks off into the forest to find elk or maybe a bear to satisfy the gnawing in his belly and the drool that is pooling under his tongue.

 

Throughout the hunt he keeps his ears pricked, listening to Rey’s even breathing as she sleeps. He hears when she wakes after he has eaten his fill, following the sound. He can hear her shuffling feet as she makes her way down the mountain. The beating of her strong human heart.

 

He tracks her movements until she is safely back to civilization. Turning and running back to the river to wash the elk’s blood off his fur, hoping that she will return soon.

 

 


	2. don’t come closer or i’ll have to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THE HUNTER’S MOON MEANING:**
> 
> The Algonquin Native American tribes referred to October’s Moon as the **Full Hunter’s Moon** because it was a time to go hunting in preparation for winter. Since the harvesters have reaped the fields, hunters can easily see the fattened deer and other animals that have come out to glean (and the foxes that have come out to prey on them).
> 
> The earliest use of the term “Hunter’s Moon” cited in the Oxford English Dictionary is from 1710. Some sources suggest that other names for the Hunter’s Moon are the Sanguine or Blood Moon, either associated with the blood from hunting or the turning of the leaves in autumn. Other Native American tribes, who tied the Full Moon names to the season’s activities, called the Full Moon the **“Travel Moon”** and the **“Dying Grass Moon.”**
> 
>   
>  *
> 
> it's a full moon tonight, have some wolfo~
> 
> *  
> 

**part ii: don’t come closer or i’ll have to go**

**track:** guaranteed - eddie vedder  

 

  

**_Day 451 Hour 9_ **

 

Her scent envelopes him the moment he walks into the small grocery store at the base of the mountain range. Joy — unbidden and surprising swells in his chest at her proximity and it’s almost like her scent fogs his brain, his feet automatically leading him to where she stands in the breakfast food aisle.

 

Rey doesn’t notice him at first, so he lets his eyes rove over her features, taking in her furrowed brow and bright eyes as she considers two different brands of granola bars.

 

“Hello.”

 

She startles, her eyes snapping towards him, taking his breath away with her wide smile.

 

“Hi, Ben,” she greets him warmly. He steps closer to her, leaving only a foot or so of space between them. “I’m relieved to see whatever I’ve been tracking in the forest hasn’t eaten you yet.”

 

Kylo laughs deeply, remembering how her fingers had felt clutching at his fur. She must have passed their encounter off as a dream. He hopes she considers it a pleasant one. “Me too.”

 

“What brings you down to civilization? Coffee creamer?” Rey asks, throwing both boxes of granola bars into her cart.

 

He rubs a hand against his chest and follows her as she walks down the aisle — hoping that it slows the rapid beating of his heart. “How did you know?”

 

“Educated guess.”

 

“You must be smart then,” he points out matter of factly, the store isn’t that big, and she’s led them to the dairy section.

 

“Did you doubt my intellect? Even after I told you how much I love your books?”

 

She’s joking with him, and _why does it make him want to cry again?_ Fuck.

 

He clears his throat. “Of course not.”

 

Rey stops, looking up at him seriously. “Use my cart. It’s nice having company.”

 

He almost chokes at how happy that makes him, but he manages to hold it together, grabbing the coffee creamer he likes and placing it in her cart.

 

It’s _something_ about her. Like she was made to make him happy — a new emotion he thinks he is learning how to be just by existing in her presence. He feels her eyes on him, unable to help himself, he turns to look down at her, nostrils flaring slightly at the wave of her aromatic scent that hits him when their eyes meet. Vanilla and _Rey_. His Rey.

 

Her pink lips drop open faintly then, her eyes glazing over as they stare up into his. Kylo doesn’t think he blinks once, letting his gaze move from her eyes down to stare at her mouth, something pleasant and heady stirring in his gut. He pictures himself kneeling down at her feet, her hands carding through his hair as he buries his face in the softness of her stomach.

 

He exhales, his chest rumbling as he meets her eyes again.

 

Rey takes a deep breath in, eyeing him still. “We should have coffee again. If you’d like.”

 

“I would,” he responds, clenching his fists in order to avoid reaching out towards her. _What has this girl done to him?_ When she smiles at him again, he can’t find it in himself to care, because if she continues to look at him like that — she can do whatever she wants to him.

 

Rey is very easy to talk to. She asks him interesting questions that are simple enough to answer and he finds himself drifting closer to her as they do their shopping. He wants to know about her, so for the first time — he asks her a question. “Where were you born?”

 

Kylo really wants to ask her if he can lick her neck and if she would be okay with never leaving his side again, but doesn’t think she would respond too well to that.

 

“I was born in England,” she pauses, looking sad for a moment and causing protectiveness to flare inside of him. “I don’t remember my parents because I grew up in the foster system. It was pretty bad until Maz adopted me and we moved to the States.” Rey looks up at him as if she is daring him to feel sorry for her.

 

“I’m glad.”

 

She looks taken aback by his response, laughing incredulously. “Why?”

 

He swallows, looking down at her. “Because,” he starts, eyes searching hers, “all of that led you to where you are now. Here. With me.”

 

Rey’s eyes widen in disbelief but he keeps his expression earnest, willing her to realize what she means to him. Her gaze narrows, “You’re kind of strange.”

 

His heart sinks.

 

“I like you,” she adds.

 

His heart soars.

 

**_Day 452 Hour 11_ **

 

“You can’t just _visit_ most National Parks, you need at least two weeks, or in my case — _months,_ honestly, to see everything.”

 

Kylo has never been one to travel often due to the risk it posed, but he could agree with her on this topic, having lived in rural, isolated landscape for most of his life. “Have you seen the caves?”

 

“Caves?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What caves?”

 

“There are caves, near Mount Olympus but far from the trailhead. I’ve never seen a—,” he pauses, almost saying _human_ and catching himself, “—another hiker even remotely close by every time I’ve gone.”

 

“Holy shit. You have to show me,” she demands, her accent pronounced and an excited gleam in her eye.

 

“When?”

 

She laughs, taking a sip of her coffee. “As soon as possible.”

 

It takes him no more than half a day to get there when he is in his wolf skin, but on two legs it would take three times as long.

 

“It’s a hike. Probably two days, one night.”

 

“I mean, it’s Friday today. Would it be too presumptuous to ask you to show me tomorrow?”

 

“Not at all,” he responds resolutely, unbelievably thrilled at the prospect of spending two days with Rey.

 

“Remember, I’m an archaeologist. I’m really fucking serious about caves,” she teases.

 

**_Day 453 Hour 4_ **

 

Despite the fact that he wanted to go with her more than anything, he could not help but feel nervous about the long hike. What if he shifted again? Rey didn’t seem to remember anything about that night, which was both fortunate and unfortunate. Their encounter had been fortuitous because unbelievably — she had not been absolutely terrified of him. But still — he can’t help feeling a pang of sorrow that all they had shared that night was seemingly lost.

 

Normally Kylo only shifted on the full moon, or when he got so angry that he couldn’t control it. But with her, it had been neither. He’d had little to no warning before he was on four paws again, with her too close. Much too close. If anything had happened to her, he’d never have forgiven himself. Snoke had said—

 

No. He couldn’t let himself get lost in that train of thought. It hadn’t happened. Somehow he’d managed to control himself around her when normally his sense of self all but disappeared when he was in his wolfskin. All that existed was the _hunt,_ and the gnawing need to kill. But with his Rey, none of that mattered. All he knew was protecting her and keeping her safe. He could do that as a man, too. He had to.

 

 

_**Day 453 Hour 5** _

 

It’s early morning, what little light the peninsula provides is casting his small kitchen in greys and blues as he packs his bag. His thoughts are interrupted by a light knocking on his door. Eagerly, he moves to open it, finding Rey set with a bag of hiking gear almost bigger than her, wrapped up in a yellow windbreaker and sturdy looking hiking boots. She looks… ethereal, standing in his doorstep, adventurous and shining like the sun.

 

“Don’t worry. Most of this is food,” Rey says with a wink. She must’ve caught him staring. His wolf heart beats loudly in his chest at her easy smile, so loud in fact that he worries she can hear it. A blush, creeping and unwarranted spreads across his cheeks at the idea. Bringing a hand up to stroke at his neatly trimmed beard, he moves aside to let her in.

 

Having had no idea what to bring on a hiking expedition, he had driven to an outdoor gear store and asked what was appropriate. Purchasing a small tent and all of the necessities. It had been an odd experience, talking to someone at length who wasn’t Rey or his mother.

 

He was already so used to her, already felt so _at ease_ with her. He watches her silently and probably ravenously as she drops her pack on his couch and, facing away from him, reaches up to gather her hair into a knot, exposing the nape of her neck in the process.

 

A potent wave of her scent crashes over him then, and desire — sincere and carnal all at once, unfurls low in his gut. She smells _divine_ , distinctly feminine, almost more so than she had before.

 

“May I?” she asks, gesturing to his bathroom.

 

Kylo nods, not trusting himself to speak — to _breathe_ — in his current state of pure, unadulterated _want_ of her. He moves to fill a glass of water but opts instead to splash it on his face, hoping that it clears his head.

 

He shudders, bracing himself on the edge of his sink and taking deep breaths. He has never felt this way before, this shaking passion and _need_ to stake his claim.

 

“Are you ready to go? I brought my camera so that I could do some surveying. I also went through the Park’s electronic records and there is no indication of the caves in the files,” Rey says, voice bright and lilting. Kylo focuses on her words, grounding himself and willing his inner instinct to quiet. “When I checked the records that had not been uploaded to our server yet I found some drawings of them. They’re so beautiful!”

 

He forces a smile and turns towards her, thinking it probably comes across as more of a grimace. He is relieved when she smiles genuinely back at him. “The location is remote, which may explain why the records are so dated,” he speaks for the first time.  

 

She nods, her smile turning to something secret, something shared between the two of them. “Thank you again for showing me, I know it’s a lot to ask.”

 

Not knowing what to say to that Kylo just says the first thing he can think of, “I like your jacket.” 

 

Rey just smiles shyly, looking down and reaching a hand up to fool with her zipper. He can smell her flush at his words and he opens his mouth slightly to breathe it in, to taste it on his tongue. That mouthwatering scent. That scent that seems distinctly catered to him, made to set his wolf to slavering and his man to falling at her feet in worship. Before he can torture himself any longer she is out the door, looking at him and winking, as if daring him to try and keep up.

 

**_Day 453 Hour 20_ **

 

Time passes slowly and simultaneously much too fast with Rey. As they get deeper into the forest, their conversation switches from casual pleasantries to revealing stories. She tells him how her parents had left her at a grocery store when she was barely three years old, with only the clothes on her back and a stuffed wolf. She had been shuffled through the foster system, and he can tell she glosses over the hardships she must have faced before telling him about her foster mother, Maz. She’d mentioned her in passing before but talking about her at length makes her face light up even more, if such a thing were possible.

 

“She saved me. Well, she likes to say I saved her, but the truth is I don’t know where I’d be without Maz. She gave me a home and a family, showed me what unconditional love is. She’s the most wonderful person I know.” Her face is flushed from the exertion of the hike, but she has a glow about her. He finds himself thinking she’s never looked more beautiful.

 

“She sounds like quite a woman. I’d like to meet her someday.” It slips out of his mouth before he can stop it. Nothing in the life of a wolf was ever guaranteed, and he couldn’t make her promises he might not be able to keep. His words make her flush further, and she turns the conversation towards what he had been dreading talking about: himself.

 

“What about you? What’s your family like?” The genuine interest in her face cracks open his shell just a little bit more.

 

 _I haven’t seen my parents in person in 5 years. I talk to my mother on the phone, but I can feel her giving up on me. I can’t be what they need me to be. I can’t join their pack, not after_ —

 

“I don’t see my parents much, but I guess they’re alright. I have an uncle who lives not too far from the Park. Not much more to say.” He chances another glance at her, wanting to kiss the concern right off her face.

 

“I’m sure that’s not true. How’d you end up in the woods? Why here?”

 

_Because I had to escape, and I chose the middle of nowhere as my prison. I killed him, and the world is better for it. All wolves are better for it. His pack just didn’t see it that way._

 

“It’s beautiful out here. I love the clean, fresh air, and I like watching the people come and go. I like — well, if I hadn’t been here I wouldn’t have met you.”

 

“I do need your invaluable help finding those monster grizzlies. I guess I’m glad we met too,” her face clouds over with fondness, and the sight is too much for him to bear.

 

“Look up here. This clearing has one of the best views. We can camp here for the night — if you’d like.”

 

And he isn’t lying. From here they can see miles of jade evergreen trees, and far, far in the distance, the snow-capped peaks of Mount Olympus. The sun is going down, and it paints everything in an orangey pink glow. Her face is no exception. Kylo allows himself to take in her features, wonderstruck.

 

“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

 

_I have. Right now, in fact._

 

“Just wait until we actually reach the mountain. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen.”

 

“I can’t wait!”

 

_**Day 453 Hour 21** _

 

 

He gets out the cooking equipment, and she jumps up to help before he can tell her that she’s his guest. He starts the fire with ease and gets their dinner cooking, setting out all the s’mores requirements for after.

 

“How’d you know I love s’mores?”

 

“Just a guess. However, I doubt you’ve had them like this. Peanut butter cups instead of plain old chocolate.”

 

“A man after my own heart.”

 

They eat in companionable silence, fingers touching whenever they reach for something at the same time. She actually _moans_ at the taste of the s’mores, and it is all he can do not to swallow the noise with his mouth. They set their tents up separately, and he has to hold himself back from insisting she sleep in his. He wants to keep her warm and stay wrapped up in her all night. He wants to kiss the cool air from her lips and run his fingers through her hair until she falls asleep. He wants to take care of her. 

 

These thoughts both scare and calm him. 

 

**_Day 453 Hour 22_ **

 

“Goodnight, Ben,” she says to him, bundled up in a large sweatshirt and flannel pants. He can see her breath at this elevation and he worries again for her warmth in the night.

 

“Goodnight, Rey,” he responds, watching as she disappears behind the zipped door of her tent.

 

A howl pierced the night as he gets comfortable in his sleeping bag,  he painfully begs, bargains and pleads with his wolf not to answer the call. Blessedly, it quiets down after a while, growl reducing to an unpleasant murmur. It wasn’t long before he was lulled into sleep at the sound, Rey on his mind.

 

_He was running through the forest, chasing something. Chasing what? He was determined to find...something and would stop at nothing until he had it. The wind whipped through his fur and branches caught him as he passed them, but he paid them no mind. He was...he wasn’t chasing something. Something, or someone, was chasing him._

 

_Foam gathered in his mouth as he ran as fast as he could, growls and snaps of teeth coming at him from all sides. It was then that he heard her, his conscious shifting, becoming more clear. More human._

 

_“Ben? I’m so cold.”_

 

 _Kylo couldn’t have that_ — _his Rey being cold. He found her waiting for him in the clearing, shivering despite her jacket. He curled up and let her get comfortable, clutching his fur once more and whispering how good he was. How he was more than this. He fell asleep to her words, feeling happier than he could ever remember being._

 

_Dawn rose in the sky and woke him up, and as he yawned he realized a few things. Firstly, he was himself again, and he was naked. Secondly, he was still holding Rey, and she was sleeping peacefully. Thirdly, his erection was pressing up against her and if he didn’t move immediately she was going to wake up and feel it. Before he had the chance she was grinding into him, moaning softly._

 

_"Fuck me, Ben. I need my big, bad wolf.”_

 

Kylo wakes up with a feral growl on his lips, wanting nothing more than to relax into the dream again. Quickly coming to the conclusion that he is well and truly fucked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! ♥


	3. my heart is wild, and my bones are steam

**part iii:** **my heart is wild, and my bones are steam**

 **track:** song for zula **-** phosphorescent

 

****

 

**_Day 454 Hour 7_ **

 

Desire is not something foreign to Kylo, he had spent a long time desiring the taste of flesh between his teeth when he had been involved with Snoke’s pack. Blindly killing, letting his wolf take over without a care or concern for human life. He had thought, foolishly, that he could cure his loneliness there, where he let them experiment on him, sometimes pushing him into his wolf form for months at a time. It had been hell, but he was moving on, _had_ moved on.

 

Kylo can now say with ease however, that he had never felt desire so profoundly, so _sensually_ centered around one person. There simply had not been space for it up to this point in his lonely, miserable life.

 

If he is truly honest with himself, he’s not sure if there is space for it currently. Not when he can feel his wolf permeating beneath his pale skin, preening and gnashing his teeth. He has felt _different_ since meeting Rey. Distinctly different. It is like a ferocious longing exists inside of him, coalescing with a docile tameness that is eager to please _only_ Rey. He doesn’t know what to make of it, and it scares him — the uncertainty of letting someone like her, so fragile and vulnerable to his uncontrollable strength, into his life.

 

Kylo has not had a reason to feel anger towards her like he had felt so often with his father, and he trusts himself not to hurt her intentionally...but if he shifted too close, if she were to be hurt like his father had been, he is unsure if he would be able to live with himself.

 

He hears rustling outside of his tent then, picking up on the noises of Rey shifting in her own, most likely getting ready for the day. Rather abruptly, the previous aromas of fresh snow, alpine, and damp earth are overpowered by her scent. Selfishly, he inhales deeply, allowing his mouth to drop open ever so slightly to taste her on his tongue. She smells _incredible_ after sleeping, it puts him in an almost dream like state, blood rushing to the hardness between his legs, his mouth flooding with saliva.

 

He growls when her scent shifts, that delicately sweet feminine musk that he had become familiar with intensifying. He is panting quietly when he hears it — a soft, barely there whimper. Alarm bells go off in his head when her fragrance heightens even further into a deep, sharp scent that has him reaching under his boxers to grasp his hard length.

 

He has to swallow back a groan when he hears her whispering moan, understanding dawning on him that Rey is, in fact, touching herself. His chest rumbles in an almost howl at the realization, shuddering, he yanks his sleep pants and boxers down his legs in one go and allows himself a few lazy strokes to quell the beast that has awakened inside of him. There is only a brief moment that he considers the fact that Rey is not aware that he can _smell_ her, that he can _hear_ her pleasuring herself. His barely there guilt fades however, when she gasps wantonly, a little louder than her prior vocalizations, and he can smell _it_ when it happens — the damp flood of her arousal as she finishes.

 

Kylo does not touch himself often. But he _is_ a man some of the time, and it is only natural. This particular thread of desire though, is something new, something _desperate_. Every stroke of his hand is both thrilling and unsatisfying because he wishes it were her doing this to him. Looking into his eyes as she brings him to his peak, her pretty gaze tearing him apart and knitting him together at the same time as her little hand wraps around his straining cock.

 

Biting the inside of his cheek to keep quiet, he comes to that image, of Rey, hair hanging down around her shoulders and eyes intent on his own, his desire matched in her gaze.

 

**_Day 454 Hour 9_ **

 

Rey is quiet. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, not really. But there is an anticipation in the air, a tenseness between them that is unfamiliar to him. At first he had thought that maybe she suspected he had known what she was up to in her tent earlier that morning, but she seems more reflective, introspectively taking in the landscape stretching out around them.

 

Suddenly Kylo’s heart feels heavy, and he takes care to step a few feet further away from her when he remembers his fears of accidentally hurting her. It would kill him if he did, but keeping his distance hurts too, in a way that makes his chest ache.

 

**_Day 454 Hour 10_ **

 

They spend hours in the caves. Kylo watches Rey aptly, careful to keep at least several feet of space between them at all times as she explores the space, taking photo after photo and note after note, muttering to herself under her breath.

 

When she smiles at him softly occasionally, he can’t help but smile back, the wolf in him perking up at her attention.

 

**_Day 454 Hour 14_ **

 

“Why did you stop?”

 

Kylo is so attuned to her at this point in their hours spent hiking alone together that he isn’t surprised when she speaks out loud, but he is confused at her question. “Stop what?”

 

“Why did you stop writing?” She asks, picking up her pace in an attempt to match his stride, her boots crunching in the snow.

 

“I didn’t stop writing,” Kylo shrugs, not wanting to lie to her but not really having much choice.

 

“Then why did you stop publishing?” Rey is no longer looking ahead at their path, but gazing up at him expectantly.

 

“I sort of went… off the grid for a few years,” he supplies, hoping that will satisfy her curiosity.

 

“You’re so…”

 

“What?”

 

“Mysterious…” she responds, eyes wide and he swallows deeply. _You think you dreamt me, sweetheart. But it was real. I was there in the forest, watching over you._

 

“What would you like to know, Rey?” He asks her tentatively, not slowing down his pace because the wolf in him is getting harder to control, urging him to reach out to her, claim her as his and he needs to _not_ be alone with her any longer than necessary because it is dangerous. The unknown is always dangerous, and whatever is going on between them is entirely new to him. But there is also a part of him, both his wolf and his man, that wants to please her. Wants to make her happy. Would already do anything for her. _And you don’t even know it._

 

She takes a deep breath, considering. “Actually, can I answer that later? I want to think about it. _Really_ get my questions ready before I ask them.”

 

He barks out an involuntary laugh, amused at her determined and playful attitude. “Is it really that difficult to ask me questions?”

 

His eyes fixate on her mouth as she bites down on her lip and looks up at him sheepishly, “I just want to be sure to ask the right ones.”

 

**_Day 454 Hour 20_ **

 

They make it back to his small cabin only an hour after the sun has sunk below the Pacific, hanging the moon and stars in the sky upon its descent. Kylo offers Rey a coffee, in what is starting to become a tradition between them. She pulls out her phone and looks at it briefly before putting it back in her pack when she realizes there is still no service at this elevation.

 

“Do you have a cell phone?”

 

“Never have,” he grumbles in response, he is so happy that she is there with him but something is happening, he can feel it. His rational side is craving distance because his wolf side is craving the wild and the dirt beneath his paws, and most notably _screaming_ for him to get closer to the girl standing in front of him. Telling him that he would never hurt her, he couldn’t possibly hurt her, he would die before he hurt his Rey.

 

And she… she just smiles at him. One of the genuine, blinding ones that she hasn’t given him all day, taking his breath away as she sips her coffee.

 

The time passes too quickly, and before he knows it she is gathering her things to leave. She stares at him for a few moments, as if waiting for him to do something but he feels stuck, pinned by her gaze, unable to even speak.

 

“Well, I’ll see you around, Ben.”

 

_Don’t go. Please._

 

“Let me walk you down to your Jeep,” he says, and his wolf settles, momentarily appeased at the idea of not being parted from her. She just nods, eyes sparkling and a little sad for some reason. His breathing grows slightly ragged at the sight, and he wonders what has made her upset.

 

They make it to where she had parked within the hour, and he helps her load up her items, feeling shaky and a little desperate all at once.

 

“How will I reach you then, if you don’t have a phone?” She asks, looking away and then back up to meet his eyes. “I’m guessing you also don’t have a mailing address…”

 

“You don’t need to worry about reaching me, Rey. I’ll always know how to find you.”

 

**_Day 454 Hour 25_ **

 

Kylo is burning up, his vision is blurred and his chest _aches_. It almost feels like dying, like when Snoke’s doctors had injected so much of that cursed drug into his system that his blood actually boiled. That is what this feels like, except he can’t _shift_.

 

He tried, immediately after Rey had driven off into the night. Kylo had done everything in his power to shift, but his wolf was surly and needy inside of him, unwilling to appear. He had thought that that was what was causing his distress, the fact that he needed to shift, but that hadn’t been it.

 

Things had only gotten worse since then.

 

**_Day 455 Hour 25_ **

 

His fever would not let up, and he has been in a haze for the past 24 hours, unable to even drag himself out of bed.

 

_Am I dying?_

 

**_Day 456 Hour 6_ **

 

On the second day of his fever, he crawls down the stairs to his bathroom, turning the shower on cold and barely registering that his skin is so hot that steam rolls off of him and fills the small space.

 

**_Day 456 Hour 8_ **

 

The shower helped to clear his head, helped him to remember that he had read something about werewolves and fevers, a particular fever, one that was so rare that it hadn’t been known to happen in hundreds of years.

 

He needs to visit Luke Skywalker.

 

**_Day 456 Hour 14_ **

 

Kylo decides to walk to the home of his uncle but has to take so many breaks due to the weakness in his limbs that he changes course and heads for his truck.

 

**_Day 456 Hour 15_ **

 

“You look like shit.” His uncle must have scented him on his drive up, because he is sitting, waiting on his porch in a wooden rocking chair, smoking a pipe that smells strongly of pine, hops, and citrus.

 

“You have any more of that?” Kylo asks haggardly as he drops down, rather ungracefully in the chair next to his uncle. Instead of getting up he simply passes him the pot, and Kylo immediately brings the glass pipe to his mouth and inhales, hoping that it does something to relax his tense and burning muscles.

 

“You can take some home with you if you want, I’ve got entire plants that I still need to sort out. I might make some brownies.”

 

Kylo coughs out a laugh on his exhale, the smoke burning his lungs and immediately dulling some of the ache in his bones. “I might,” he responds, never having enjoyed weed much before but given his current state, he’s definitely considering taking his uncle up on his offer.

 

After several moments spent just staring out at the icy blues and deep greens of the Olympic Mountain Range, Kylo breaks the silence, “I was wondering if you ever read anything about werewolves and…” he pauses, realizing that he hadn’t even allowed himself to consider the possibility before this moment. Of what this could mean. Not wanting to want it as badly as he does.

 

“Do we need to call your mother?” Luke asks, his rocking abruptly stopping as he awaits Kylo’s response.

 

“No, no. Not yet at least,” he answers, drawing in a deep breath. “I was wondering if you knew anything about werewolves and fevers?”

 

Kylo already knows what his uncle is going to say.

 

“Werewolves don’t get fevers,” Luke says, eyes narrowing.

 

“Then why am I running at a temp of 170?”

 

“Impossible,” his uncle scoffs, standing up and moving towards him. He pauses, hesitating with a hovering hand and Kylo nods, allowing him to feel the heat of his forehead. He pulls his hand away immediately and hums, gesturing for him to smoke more. “If this is what I think it is, that will help with the pain.”

 

**_Day 456 Hour 16_ **

 

“These fevers are incredibly rare, and only occur when separated from one’s marked soulmate before the bond is accepted or, ‘completed’—” his uncle reads out loud. “Ben, how? You don’t even leave the house. Who could you have possibly marked?” Kylo can’t really blame him for his disbelief, it’s not like he ever really leaves his property.

 

“She’s… her name is Rey, I met her when I was walking down to my truck, it’s a long story,” he explains, his head suddenly throbbing. “Rey is definitely human though, I don’t understand—”

 

“Soulmate bonds in werewolves can only occur with humans who have the dormant gene, so your Rey probably is fully human, but was born with something special, waiting to be awakened.”

 

Kylo struggles to maintain his breathing at what his uncle is telling him, some wolfy lore he had hardly given more than fleeting moments of thought to his entire life. “I thought that soulmate bonds were just an old legend. A fairytale?”

 

Luke looks up at him, his blue eyes clear, only a hint of mischief in them. “We’re werewolves, kid. We are but legends.”

 

**_Day 456 Hour 18_ **

 

“All of the books I have on it say the same thing, I think we know what needs to be done.”

 

Of course every book they had gone through said the same thing, that the bond _must_ be completed once a werewolves’ soulmate was marked. He thinks he knows when it happened, when his feelings for Rey went from fascination and admiration to a quelled panicked feeling. That morning in the tent, when he had touched himself with her scent filling his senses. That had been when it had cemented in place, when he was meant to be accepted by her fully in order to complete the bond. He had pulled away from her after that instead, his rational brain winning out over his wolf, unknowingly hurting himself in the process.

 

“We’ve only known each other for a short time…” he trails off. Terror clouds his mind, he is afraid of so many things. Of hurting her like he hurt his father, the thought of it alone causing panic to rise in his throat.

 

“Ben, if you don’t complete the bond…”

 

“I know,” Kylo responds. Luke had lit a fire a while ago and he stares into the flames, his eyes burning and heart beating loudly in his ribcage. “I’ll die.”

 

Luke nods solemnly, taking his glasses off and setting them down on the small side table next to the large leather chair in which he sits.

 

“This means that Rey is your _soulmate,_ Ben,” Luke pauses, considering his words before continuing on, he must have picked up on the scent of Kylo’s fear. “There isn’t a world in which she won’t choose you.”

 

“How do you know that? What if she doesn’t want this?”

 

“There is only one way to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your patience! and for all of your comments and kudos ♥


	4. you saw something in me (that lives inside you too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **SUPER WOLF BLOOD MOON;** occurs when a supermoon combines with a total lunar eclipse, making the moon appear slightly larger when full, and blood-red during the eclipse.

**part iv: you saw something in me (that lives inside you too)**

**track:** rebel heart - first aid kit

 

 

**_Day 102 Hour 5_ **

 

_Yellow eyes, calm and knowing. Fur, black and rippling in the pale light of the full moon. Ears, pointed and pricked in her direction. A heartbeat that is not her own, yet that she feels within every part of her, sounding out into the midnight air. A sense of longing, so profound that it brings tears to her eyes, welling in her chest._

 

“ _Who are you?” Standing several feet away, Rey still has to crane her neck to be able to stare up at the the giant wolf. In answer—he shifts, sniffing the air between them, and dips his massive head in her direction._

 

_Rey startles—the ground beneath her feet vibrating when the wolf speaks, his voice a deep and soothing rumble: “Little Rey, you must come back to the forest.”_

 

_Her eyes glaze over, her body irresistibly relaxed by the animal’s...voice? Words? Presence? Maybe all three. “The forest? What’s in the forest?”_

 

_The wolf growls, standing up on all fours, each step shaking the earth and trees as he walks toward her, “our fate”, he says, his breath hissing between his teeth._

 

Rey awakens on a gasp, choking on her exhale, her lungs protesting as she coughs in between ragged gulps of air. The clock reads 5:00am—the window of her Ranger’s cabin showing that thick fog has rolled in, an endless grey crawling and rising across the forest floor. Glancing at her calendar, she scrambles to grab a pen to mark an **X** over the day prior. _One hundred and two days_ in the Olympic Peninsula—another Full Moon—and a month since she has seen Ben.

 

Rey had gone to his property a few days following their hike, hoping to thank him again, or maybe have coffee, or discuss books—she honestly didn’t care what they did, and couldn’t really explain it, but she felt incredibly drawn to him, safe with him, almost as if she _belonged_ with him. Crazy, really, seeing as how they had only known each other for so little time. A lot of...strange things have been happening to her recently. Most notably—the giant wolf that persistently haunts her dreams. Every night, without fail, the mass of sharp, canine teeth and obsidian fur lingers—beckoning her into his forest with a wave of his tail and a meaningful look—but now— _now,_ it can _talk_ to her. _Ridiculous_.

 

Rey pulls on jeans and warm wool socks, leaving the shirt she had slept in on (an old cotton tee with _Denver_ written across the chest), not bothering to put on a bra before pulling on her favorite yellow windbreaker— _the one that Ben said he liked._ Uncontrollably, it hits her—bracing herself against the wall and drawing in a shaky breath— _Ben is gone._ Has been missing for a month now.

 

Rey has looked for him everywhere, even enlisting her fellow Park Rangers in the hunt. She had found his uncle— _Luke Skywalker,_ she rolls her eyes at the thought, _some help he had been_. Luke had not even wanted to file a missing persons report—said he was sure Ben was _fine._

 

 _“Nothing to worry about,”_ he had told her, a suspicious, saddened look in his eyes. Luke said that Ben was like this, that he disappeared all the time. But Rey knew that it was her fault, that whatever she had been tracking in the forest— _the wolf_ , something inside her whispers—and she knows deep down that it’s true, that _the wolf_ had taken Ben. Had probably hurt him. Had maybe even… _No._ She can’t think about that—not yet. Shoving her feet into her hiking boots, she grabs the keys to her Jeep and swings her pack on, starting her Saturday ritual of searching for… _who_ she doesn’t know; either Ben or whatever could have possibly...hurt him.

 

As she drives to the trailhead parking closest to his home—she wonders, not for the first time—what she will do if she encounters the wolf. There is a dart gun in her bag, not to mention the can of bear spray, but the thought of hurting the ferocious yet docile creature from her dreams causes a pang in her chest. Her resolve only hardens when she imagines the possibility of never seeing the man she had grown quite fond of again.

 

_I owe it to Ben. I owe him that much._

 

**_Day 102 Hour 7_ **

 

Just as Rey has come to expect, Ben’s house is empty. Turning, she begins her hike towards one of the paths her feet have yet to walk.

 

**_Day 102 Hour 9_ **

 

Rey stops when she reaches a clearing, the muted light of the sun somewhat breaking through the fog and moss covered trees shrouding the peninsula.

 

It’s a small field, the lush green grass growing to her knees. The weather is warmer; so she sits, pulling out the lunch she had packed the night prior. Her hands shake for some unknown reason as she unwraps her sandwich. They have been doing that a lot lately. Shaking. Not to mention the rapid heart rate. And the _fevers_. Fevers that hurt her gut, stabbing through her and burning from the inside out. They come and go in waves, though. Just more strange things that have been happening to her ever since she arrived to the Peninsula. Rey had gone to the doctor, had even gone to the tiny hospital in Port Angeles—but they could find nothing wrong with her, and sent her home each time with more questions than answers.

 

“Hello,” a voice calls out. Rey whips her head around, standing up and dropping her food at the sight of a man, slender and red-headed, his features arranged into a questioning sneer.

 

“H—hi,” Rey responds, resisting the urge to back away from him.

 

“What are you doing out here in the woods all alone?” The man asks in a British accent, tilting his head, the look in his eyes hungry.

 

Casually, she bends down and picks up her pack, all instinct telling her to bolt as soon as possible.

 

“I’m a Park Ranger.”

 

The man steps closer, leaving about two yards of space between them. _Not enough._

 

“Where’s the uniform?”

 

Her stomach drops, but she doesn’t move, something inside of her screaming _danger_. No one knows where she is. No one knows that she is still looking for Ben. “What are _you_ doing out here in the woods?”

 

“I’m looking for someone, perhaps you know him?” The man takes another step towards her and alarm bells blare in her head when she realizes that he is not wearing shoes. “Ben Solo?”

 

_Lie to him._

 

Her eyes flash to his, but she keeps her tone measured, the lie coming out smoothly: “I don’t know anyone by that name.”

 

“Pity,” the man tuts, “I could have kept you around for awhile—you do smell...like nothing I’ve ever tasted.”

 

“Excuse me?” Her heart is pounding out of her chest now, but she feels rooted to the spot, confusion and fear paralyzing her.

 

“In fact...you almost smell like…” the man’s voice trails off as he appears to sniff the air. “But that’s impossible, you don’t know Ben Solo, and you wouldn’t lie to me, right?” The man is snarling now, and storm clouds have manifested above the treeline, thunder cracking in the distance.

 

Adrenaline screams through her veins, and she pulls out her dart gun, aiming it directly at the man. “There is enough tranquilizer in here for three elephants. Don’t come any closer.”

 

The man tips his head back as he laughs, his face shifting, reminding her of a feral animal. “Aren’t you just delightful,” all laughter ceases, his eyes glinting, sharp like diamonds when they land on her, “now, I know _you know_ where he is. I can smell him on you.”

 

“What do you want with him?” Something tells her not to reveal the truth—that Rey hasn’t seen Ben Solo in just over a month. That he has disappeared.

 

“He has to pay for what he’s done. He’s a murderer, and a traitor.” Rey already thinks this man is psychotic, but talking like they are in a plot of one of those medieval themed BBC specials is not helping his case. “He killed my pack master, and thinks he can just live happily ever after in the forest?” _Yes, this man is_ definitely _psychotic._ When he begins to walk toward her, she wastes no time in pulling the trigger on the dart gun in her hand. The dart hits him, right in the chest, and her eyes widen when he just glances down and back up at her with a smirk. _Fuck._ “Well, you are entertaining, but it will bring me nothing but pleasure to eat something of Ben’s.”

 

Panic grips her, and she shoots him again, hoping that maybe the first dart had been a dud. It wasn’t.  The man stays standing, although his body seems to be shaking out of itself until he screams, low and guttural, the veins of his neck bulging as his bones crack and flesh morphs until he is _growing_ —wider and taller _._ Russet tinged fur appearing out of nowhere, his face painfully extending into a snout—until an oversized wolf stands in the clearing, dragging his sharp curved claws in the dirt as if to charge, teeth gnashing and snapping in her direction.

 

_Run._

 

Her blood rushes in her ears, and as fast as she can she turns, feet pounding into the muddy ground when all of a sudden she is forced to duck, body falling and skidding on the forest floor.

 

Rey twists her neck when a massive shadow is cast over her. A fierce growl sounding out in the clearing and a giant black wolf— _her wolf—_ eclipses her field of vision, sailing over her and right into the wolf... _man_ she had just put two tranquilizer darts in.

 

It is at that moment that the sky opens up in a downpour, drenching Rey and the fur of the two circling wolves. Rey should run while they are both distracted, it would be the smart thing to do, but she can’t seem to take her eyes off of him. _Her wolf,_ just as mighty and massive as in her dreams; towering over his russet colored opponent. Transfixed, she watches, the sound of their fight just as loud as the thunder rumbling above them. They slam into each other repeatedly, teeth clacking and throats snarling as they collide in a mass of black and red fur.

 

 _Something is wrong_ —she realizes as her heart squeezes in her chest at the sound of the black wolf's high pitched yelp— _he’s weak._ Desperate, hoping to provide some sort of distraction, she steps closer to the two, pulling out her bear spray and aiming for the direction of the British red wolf man.

 

“The darts didn’t phase you, huh?” Her voice comes out shaky, so she steels herself, “how do you like this?” The spray hits him square in the eyes, and Rey delights in his furious roars. He is just distracted enough to give her wolf an opening to sink his teeth into his neck, ripping his throat out with one gruesome bite.

 

She stands back, torn between running far away and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the mythic monster in front of her would rather die than hurt her. Almost as if he hears her thoughts, he collapses, the sound and impact of it shaking the surrounding trees.

 

Rey steps closer, taking in the way the creature’s stomach rapidly rises and falls with each haggard intake of breath with a mounting sense of panic. This wolf is _sick— her_ wolf is sick.

 

He lets out a low whine, one golden eye blinking open to look at her as she takes tentative steps towards him.

 

Then—miraculously, he begins to change before her eyes, his wolf skin falling away—disappearing to reveal a bruised and battered... _Impossible._

 

Rey’s eyes move rapidly as she takes in the man’s pale, deathly looking skin, which is somehow steaming as the rain pelts down onto his naked body. Severe looking bruises are blooming purple and deep red along his ribs, and all air rushes from her lungs when she sees the bite the other wolf must have bitten into his shoulder. There is blood streaming down his chest and neck, and when she looks, finally—to his face—the broken scream she lets out sounds foreign to her own ears, _“BEN!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo sorry for the wait! and thank you so much for reading ♥ comments and kudos give us life


	5. like a flower on the meadow

**part v:** **like a flower on the meadow**

 **track:** it happened quiet - aurora

 

**_Day 102 Hour 9_ **

 

It’s almost like magic when the downpour abruptly ceases, the Olympic National Forest’s almost never present sun revealing itself in the sky and casting the meadow in an ethereal golden glow.

 

Rey’s throat feels raw, and her eyes burn as her gaze traces the way the sunlight slowly encompasses Ben’s pale, bruised and bloodied form as the cloud cover rolls above their heads. A sob wracks her chest when his bruises begin to fade before her eyes, the sun appearing to heal the angry red and purple back to the typical shade of unmarred skin. Reaching a shaking hand out, she touches his collarbone, where just moments before there had been a nasty bite mark—courtesy of the now dead wolf a few yards away in the clearing—there is now slightly pinkened skin, the remnants of rain washed blood coating it the only indication that he had been hurt.

 

Suddenly apprehensive, she locates the other very much dead wolf in the clearing, only to see vines, of their own accord, sprout from the ground and wrap around russet fur, pulling and swallowing the defeated wolf’s massive body into the earth with a soft rumbling sound.

 

“It’s real,” she whispers out loud to herself, out of breath as her eyes flit anxiously back to Ben’s peaceful looking face. Blinking away a few unshed tears, she reaches a hand out to cradle his stubble-sharpened jaw; noticing the fiery temperature of his skin, she presses her ear down against his bare chest to listen for a heartbeat.

 

_Don’t leave me now that I’ve found you again._

 

Pure relief washes over her at the sound of his steadily beating heart and she weeps at the weight of it—the fact that Ben is _alive._ “ _You’re_ real.” _My wolf._

 

Eyes searching, she shifts on his chest to take in his features. That desperate anxiousness that she had felt all these weeks that Ben had been missing—the wrongness of it all—is gone. Replaced instead by an urgent desire for him to open his eyes. To _see_ her. Rey’s brow furrows in confusion at the feeling, not understanding how the gravitational pull she has felt towards this man beneath her, since the very _moment_ she laid eyes on him, has transformed into this living _force_ inside of her. Hot, stinging tears slide down her cheeks and onto his chest as she takes in the way the sunlight brings a flush to the previously deathly pale skin under her palm. _Definitely_ magic.

 

“If you can hear me,” Rey says softly, voice cracking. “I have an answer for you.” Ben had asked her what she wanted to know about him, and she knows now. She knows deep in her bones. It is almost an ancient thing, something that she has known her entire life, and something she will now carry with her forever.

 

Rey brings her face down so that her lips just barely brush against his. “I want to know _everything_.”

 

It’s then that Rey feels the heat of his palm on her hip through her rain-dampened jeans, and on a sharp intake of air she shifts backwards, only to find two smoldering golden eyes staring up at her. It’s familiar—that knowing gaze, one that has haunted her, beckoned to her in countless dreams.

 

The hand that had been resting on her hip slides up her back until his fingers rest on the naked skin of her neck. The sensation of it, his fingers _there_ , shudders violently through her—distinctive arousal gathering at her core when Ben exhales louder than before, his breath fanning across her face. _Can he smell me? How much I want him?_

 

“ _Mate.”_

 

Rey whimpers, his voice saying _that_ word causing her cunt to pulse heatedly between her thighs. Before she can dwell on it, Ben gently drags her face closer to his, seemingly inhaling her as he nuzzles first her cheek, then her still dripping hair, and finally her neck, and—despite her wet clothes and the cold temperature of the forest—Rey is _hot_. All over. “Ben,” she whisper-whines as his teeth graze the hollow of her throat. It feels incredible. It feels _right._

 

Her stomach flips when he tugs her back fractionally to cradle her face in both of his large hands— _electric_ is the only word that comes to mind when his tongue slides up one cheek and then the other, effectively licking the salt of her tears away.

 

Ben hums, she notes the rumble of it where she is draped over his chest before he is— _kissing_ her. _Really_ kissing her. Coaxing her mouth open with the gentle slide of his tongue along the seam of her lips, prompting a chorus of “ _yes yes yes”_ to ring throughout her entire being.

 

“Mate,” he repeats, softer this time and against her lips. “Rey.”

 

“Yes,” she all but moans, eyes closed and giving into whatever this is that he is bringing out of her. _Give it all to me. Make me yours._

 

This is it, what she has been missing. Rey can feel it—niggling at the back of her mind— something, or _someone_ that she has been waiting for her entire life—is right here. Close enough to touch, to—to _kiss_ and—

 

“I’m sorry,” Ben groans, sitting up in the tall grass and pulling her into his lap. “I tried to stay away, but it’s too late now, I’m not strong enough to control it.” _Is that? Yes—_ Rey’s brain works in rapid fire, needily taking in the way his hardness juts against her backside, how the heat of his stare is gazing unflinchingly into hers. _Like an animal._

 

“Don’t,” she whispers, and he’s staring at her mouth, cupping her face and brushing a thumb against her bottom lip. “Don’t try to control it.” He closes his eyes, as if in pain—and maybe she is imagining it, but she swears she just felt him grow harder beneath her. “I told you, I want _everything_.” _Take me. I’ll be so good to you. So good_ for _you._

 

Ben’s eyes flash open, and she has only a moment to note the shift in color from the golden yellow hue of earlier to a more honeyed brown. “You smell incredible,” he breathes against her throat, muttering things like _wet,_ and _missed you_ into the skin there. Rey doesn’t catch all of it—because whatever he is doing to her neck right now is pure insanity. It’s the spot, or maybe the fact that it’s Ben, or that the soft scraping of his teeth _there_ causes her entire body to shake in his arms and her clit to throb. “You don’t care?” He asks, face still buried in the curve of her shoulder, his lips still driving her mad with how they move against the exposed skin of her throat. “That I...that I’m a monster?”

 

Rey’s hands had been sitting uselessly in her lap, so she uses them, running her palms reassuringly (for his and her sake) along the freshly healed skin covering his ribs before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, ignoring the blood that coats her palms along the way. “You don’t understand— _Ben_ ,” she smiles and she hopes he can hear it in her voice. “I’ve been waiting for you to find me.” _I was trying to find you too._ “So don’t...hide from me any longer.” She isn’t sure how she understands what’s happening between them, but she knows— _intrinsically_ —that it’s right. Fated.

 

 _Belonging._ That’s what this feels like.

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying yes to, even I don’t know what this is—not really, not all of it,” he says, shifting to unzip her yellow windbreaker and peel it off her body. “There is a bond between us, but it’s not complete,” he explains, and she nods, looking up to meet his eyes. She knows he said he couldn’t control himself now, that it was too late for her to have any choice in this—but she also _knows,_ and she’s not sure how—that he would obey her if she put a stop to things. He would have to. It is the way this works.

 

“How do we complete the bond?” Rey asks, shivering when his bare hand reaches under her old t-shirt to span across her back and slide upwards.

 

“Here,” he says, in that matter of fact way of his, fingers just barely glancing her neck. “I have to bite you—here.”

 

Some part of Rey knows, deep down, that this is what had to happen. His bite would make her whole, bring her the peace she’d been so desperately seeking. He would belong to her, and she would belong to him. _Just as it had been fated to be since the moment you both were born_. It was as if an ancient voice was confirming what she already knew. “Ben,” she sighs, arching her neck to give him better access to her.

 

His answering growl seems to shake her very bones, shake the ground beneath them, and cause her cunt to clench needily. Rey jumps when he nips at her playfully, a taste of what is to come. “Not yet,” he rasps into her skin, making her shiver. “The trees have eyes, and I want you all to myself.”

 

Rey can’t help but let out a whine at the idea of waiting any longer than necessary, but allows him to pick her up, relishing in the way he cradles her against his broad chest, and before she knows it, they are at the door to his cabin.

 

Ben sets her down in front of him once they are inside. The heat of him behind her, it is all-encompassing, making her long to feel his bare skin against her own. A panging emptiness erupts between her legs when his manhood—hard, long, and thick—presses flush against her lower back.

 

“When I first scented you, your hair was wet like this,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “I wanted to eat you, you smelled so good.” His gentle fingers are on her neck, then they are brushing her hair to the side so that it hangs over one shoulder. Her errant heart thunders in her chest when he buries his face in her neck and inhales deeply, _greedily._

 

Rey should really find it strange, that this giant man— this _werewolf_ —appears to be inhaling her scent, after telling her that he had contemplated eating her, but instead it just feels like her insides are going to catch fire, or worse—that she may burn up before she even gets to take her clothes off. And— _oh—_ that’s his hand in her shirt, spanning across her stomach. He groans, yanking her closer still and dropping open-mouthed kisses against the exposed notches of her spine. She whimpers in protest when his lips leave her skin, but lets out a drawn-out moan when he slides his hand up to palm her breast all while nuzzling _that_ spot on her neck.

 

Burning.She is _burning—_ and might just catch fire, especially when he pinches her left nipple, the sharp, tingling feeling shooting straight to her sex and, unable to control herself, she grabs his hand, showing him where she needs him most by dragging it between her legs.

 

He hums, thrusting his hips against her while cupping her mound over her jeans, practically lifting her off the ground. “So warm,” he mumbles into her hair. Rey brazenly grinds her hips into his palm, wetness flooding her center and quickly soaking through the denim of her jeans.

 

“Do you know what to do? Have you done this before?” She manages to pant out. The abrupt jealousy that wells up inside of her at the idea that he _has_ catches her off guard, realizing with sharp clarity how desperately she longs to be the only one who he has made to feel like this.

 

“I haven’t, but it’s instinctual,” Ben replies, and all tenseness leaves her as relief floods her at his answer. He sets her back on her feet, his body sinking down behind her so that he is on his knees. Moving with languid confidence, he peels her damp jeans and panties down her legs and asks, “have you?”

 

Rey turns at the waist to look down at him and shakes her head no, because it’s the truth. She has never been with anyone like this before. Had always been too caught up in whatever mountain she was planning to climb next, or forest she was looking to explore to give relationships—much less _sex_ —because that is surely where this is heading—a lot of thought. Rey pushes his hair away from where some had fallen over his eyes, running her thumb over his brow and then dragging her pads of her fingertips feather-light over his lips. She never _wanted_ , not like this, not until Ben.

 

“I want to do so much, Rey. But I can’t—”

 

She shushes him, understanding that his control is slipping, and moves to quickly pull her t-shirt over her head, discarding it before turning to face him.

 

“Show me where it feels good?” He asks, voice desperate, his brow starting to sheen with sweat as she watches him flit his gaze over her breasts, his eyes becoming glazed over rather quickly at the sight of her naked body. She holds his gaze and thinks she feels a drop of wetness slide down her thigh. _Does he smell that too?_

 

For a moment, he lowers his lashes, and when he looks up at her again, a thrilling sensation curls in her belly. It’s positively animalistic, the way he is looking at her—kneeling at her feet as he is. His eyes are back to that glowing, golden yellow and she surmises that maybe he has let his instincts take over. He’s going to devour her whole.

 

Rey watches with anticipation as his animal gaze follows her movements, boldly tracing her fingers down her bare stomach to rub at the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs; the first brush of her fingers making her cry out due to how sensitive she is. She pulls the hood of her clit up, exposing herself fully to him. His deep, answering growl would have almost been frightening if it weren’t so ridiculously arousing to her.

 

Abruptly, Rey is lifted and thrown over his shoulder, shivering at the feel of the chilly air in his cabin on the exposed lips of her drenched and feverishly hot cunt.

 

“What—why,” she dazedly questions before she realizes that they are going up to what must be his room—deciding upon arrival that it’s less like a room and more like a _den._ The bed is circular and large in the space, taking up the majority of the floor, low to the ground and covered in cozy looking blankets. When Ben deposits her on it, she lands on her back, blinking her eyes open to bright sunlight, the entirety of the A-frame ceiling being a skylight.

 

At this angle, she finally has a chance to really get a good look at him, and she finds she can’t look away. His broad, well-muscled torso is making her ache to touch him or to reach between her legs and relieve some of the pressure in her cunt. Dirt and dried blood covers his naked form, and her eyes widen involuntarily when they finally land on his cock, and she forces herself to take a calming breath. _He’s a big man, of course he is going to be big all over._ And it is _big_ —thick and straining, about as long as her forearm and flushed a deep red, his tip fully peeking out and leaking moisture.

 

Ben’s hands reach for her, resting on her knees as he kneels on the bed, spreading her legs wide open to him. Suddenly nervous, she looks to his face, and finds him staring intently down at her opening, “so wet,” he says, voice barely audible, “you’re glistening for me.”

 

Rey doesn’t have time to process his words, all coherent thought leaving her when _finally_ , his fingers brush over her clit. His movements are clumsy at first, so she lets him know with little thrusts of her hips where to keep touching her, and— _oh_ this is unlike anything she’s felt before, so different from her own hurried touches—that it takes no time at all for liquid heat to gush towards her center as her legs shake with the onslaught of her climax.

 

His eyes flash with satisfaction as he lets out a pleased growl, hurriedly bringing his mouth to her breast, dragging his teeth over her nipple and leaving a trail of saliva across her stomach as he trails open mouth kisses in a path towards her center, his stubble pleasantly scraping her skin along the way.

 

“I’ve thought about you a lot,” she pants out, when he inserts one, two, and then three thick fingers into her opening, it’s uncomfortable at first, but then it’s... _good_...and it’s _really_ good when he spreads her legs open further with a hand under her hips, lifting her up slightly only to sink between her thighs to lap at her with long, firm swipes of his tongue.

 

“You’re all I think about,” Ben breathes out against her swollen cunt, her heart skipping a beat at the raw emotion his words evoke in her. Rey had almost lost him, had almost missed out on _this_. It’s unexplainable, this connection she feels to him, but she knows without a doubt that it’s _right_ and she is _tired_ of waiting.

 

“I need you,” she says, looping her arm around his neck and using his body to pull herself up to meet his lips in a kiss that she hopes conveys how ready she is for what they are about to do.

 

The only warning he gives is a deep, rumbling growl before she is on all fours. Moaning, she arches, pushing her backside towards his erection. One warm hand is on her hip, the other wrapping around her shoulder as he bends to drag his teeth over _that_ spot on her neck.

 

“This might hurt,” he speaks into her hair, his voice vibrating with something that makes her insides flutter in anticipation.

 

Ben’s manhood is flush against her slit, shifting back and forth, coating himself with her juices before he is _there_ —his tip prodding her opening, sending sparks of pleasure up through her womb. His lips are back on her neck, his teeth scraping skin as he begins to press himself inside. It hurts almost immediately, but she is so wet that it takes little effort for his girth to slide deeper inside of her. When he breaks that thin layer of skin, it stings sharply, prompting her to clamp down onto him and cry out.

 

Ben moans— _loudly_ —sucking the skin of her neck into his mouth and plunging forward, seating himself inside of her fully. Thankfully, he doesn’t move, giving her throbbing, aching walls time to get used to his size. It’s... _maddening_ really, how pinned in place she feels, how Ben is _everywhere_ —inside of her, over her, wrapped around her—

 

“ _Mate,”_ he growls, giving her little to no warning before breaking another thin layer of skin, this time on her shoulder, with his _teeth_. It’s incredible, the way her entire universe narrows down to his bite—his sharp teeth firmly latched onto her skin. It’s like her senses explode and she can _smell_ _him_ —pine, fresh mint leaves, his blood, her blood, the earth, vibrant, glowing—her _mate_. It is overwhelming until he starts to move, then it is _insanity_ —his bite holding her in place as the walls of her sex part for him—the intoxicating drag of his cock making her insides sing with pleasure as his hips slap against the backs of her thighs, setting a punishing rhythm.

 

Tears leak out of her eyes at the sheer, overwhelming ecstasy that is surging through her entire body. Her hands scramble for purchase as the walls of her cunt spasm around him. Her limbs shake and it’s a thousand times more intense than her previous climax, almost like she is floating, existing outside of time and space like she no longer needs air to breathe, only his bite and his sex pinning her to him to keep her blood pumping.

 

“Gonna make you come again, and again,” he says between thrusts, not giving her a break or time to breathe with the unrelenting pleasure he is giving her. She can’t speak, she can only feel, as if her body is a vessel for their shared euphoria. The bond has come to screaming life and she senses how close he is, wanting nothing more than to feel him spend inside of her. Squeezing herself around him, she only has to wish for his fingers on her clit before they’re there, lightly pinching her sensitive nub between his thumb and forefinger. That’s all she needs, and she falls headfirst into another climax, just as strong as the previous one.

 

“Beautiful mate…mine,” he growls into her neck as he releases inside her with a roar, the pulse of it when he comes almost throwing her into a fourth orgasm. It stings dully when he pulls out of her and flips her body over.

 

Rey is surrounded by him, but she’s never felt safer, barely having time to run her fingers through his hair before he’s kissing his way down her body and each knee before positioning her legs over his shoulders. Gently, so gently, he licks and sucks their combined spend out of her, not seeming to want to waste a single drop. “Want you to come again for me,” he whispers into her clit.

 

“Ben, it’s too much, I—”

 

“I know you can, Rey. Just once more,” he nuzzles her, kissing her open-mouthed before pulling her hood up with one finger and sucking her sore clit into his mouth, soothing it with his tongue. She’s tired, so tired, but the slow drag of his teeth on her exposed clit is perfect. He slips a finger in her, then two, crooking upwards, finding and worrying the spot that had always eluded her. It’s almost like she has to run to the bathroom before he starts sucking on her clit in pulses, pressing hard into that spot. She throws her head back and wails, gushing on his fingers and in his mouth. Floating on a wave of bliss, it washes over her and leaves her wrung out, tears streaking down her face. He kisses them away before pushing his lips to her lips and pulling her into his arms, cradling her.

 

“I love you, Rey. I love you so much,” he whispers almost desperately into her hair and it’s so right, it’s what she has been waiting to hear.

 

Rey is full with the clarity that this _is_ fate—that nothing has ever made more sense. Their souls are enmeshed, he is hers and she is his. She’s found her home.

 

“I love you too,” she says easily, laughing out loud at the pure joy that bubbles up inside of her, the sunlit glow of the room filling her with renewed warmth. “My big, bad wolf.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for that looooooong wait, we love you guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> we on twitter & tumblr come say hi ~ 
> 
> chloe: on twitter [@spookyreylo](http://www.twitter.com/spookyreylo) & on tumblr at [jewishbensolo](https://jewishbensolo.tumblr.com/).
> 
> chelsea: on twitter [@benorganasolos](http://twitter.com/benorganasolos) & on tumblr at [soloish](http://www.soloish.tumblr.com).


End file.
